Ah, Gen-X. The middle child of the generational family, forever standing awkwardly between the famously entitled Baby Boomers and the sensitive, avocado-toast-eating Millennials. Just like those deliciously questionable food experiments from our 80s sitcoms, we’re both perplexed and mildly entertained by the weirdness of life—like, what on Earth happened to our bodies? It’s as if our youth was sponsored by the makers of Hi-C, Sun-In, and every questionable hair product concocted in the 90s. Oh, to be young, free, and able to pull off acid-wash jeans without feeling like someone just deflated your nostalgia balloon.
You know you’re a Gen-Xer when the most exercise you get is running to the fridge during a commercial break. Remember when we all thought we’d be zipping around on hoverboards by 2023? Instead, we’re just trying to figure out how many Advil we need to take before tackling a “light” game of pickup basketball. Even our nostalgia is kind of exhausting, like that time we tried to relive our glory days at an 80s-themed party and ended up with a bad back and a regrettable hangover after one too many Zima cocktails. And dad jeans? Oh, we’ve evolved. We now wear them ironically—but mostly because they’re the only thing that fits our perpetually expanding middle-aged selves.
Oh, and let’s not forget the technology. We used to feel so cutting-edge, using floppy disks and dial-up internet as we crafted our MS-Paint masterpieces. Now we’re just staring at smartphones, pretending to be impressed by the latest TikTok challenges. Is a dance move really a move if you’ve got to consult a tutorial? I’m pretty sure my steal-from-the-80s-headbang could give today’s best dancers a run for their money, but watching my kids' TikToks makes me feel like I'm witnessing an interpretive dance about existential dread. What’s next? A virtual reality game where you navigate the emotional fallout of the Grunge era?
In a world that’s gotten crazier than a late-night infomercial starring the fondly-remembered Billy Mays, the best we can do is grab a slice of nostalgia pie and hope no one adds kale. As we contemplate the future—while occasionally cracking our backs like a couple of elderly folks in a bowling alley—let’s cherish the good old days of experimenting with tamagotchis, mixtapes, and yelling "bodacious" without a trace of irony. After all, being a Gen-Xer is like that rugged VHS tape you keep in a box somewhere: occasionally fuzzy, but still full of moments you’d never want to rewind.