Ah, the 80s and 90s—a time when our biggest existential crisis was whether to choose between a Slurpee and a Big Gulp on the way to the mall. Back then, we didn't need TikTok to validate our existence; the thrill of performing an epic BMX stunt off a homemade ramp got our adrenaline pumping and our parents' insurance rates skyrocketing. Today’s youth are glued to their screens, desperately debating trends on social media, while we were out there, collecting scrapes and bruises, as badges of honor. What a time to be alive, am I right?
Remember Saturday morning cartoons? Those were manna from heaven. Nothing sent you bolting out of bed faster than the sweet sounds of “Saturday Supercade” or the tantalizing jingle of “Coco Puffs.” We were treated to a buffet of colorful characters like He-Man and the not-so-Christian Jason from Friday the 13th. Kids today may have their elaborate streaming services, but they’ll never know the pure joy of trying to tune in to your favorite show while your sibling is “accidentally” hogging the TV set with *The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air*. You know, back when the TV remote wasn’t a thing because we were the remote. If the channel didn’t come in clear, too bad; those static-filled images were as real as it got.
And let's talk about fashion. There wasn't a mall trip that didn’t feature our scrunchies, flannel shirts, and jeans tight enough to cut off our circulation. We walked six miles to school, uphill both ways—no complaints, just the promise of Dickies and Doc Martens waiting for us on the other side. Kids today are like, “I can’t wear this because it’s so last week!” Newsflash: We rocked bell-bottom jeans well into the 90s, and you better believe we made them work. We didn’t need no stinkin’ influencer to tell us what was cool; we decided what was cool with our three new patches on our denim jackets that we begged our parents for—who knew the intense emotional turmoil of losing a pair of Vans could scar a kid for life?
In conclusion, while today’s “kids” are binging their way through the latest streaming hits, we had no choice but to get our daily dose of Vitamin D while skateboarding down the street, trying not to wipe out in front of the cute girl next door. So here's to us, the unappreciated pioneers of fun, navigating a world of low-tech, high-risk boredom while our parents were blissfully ignorant of 90s rebellion. Sure, we may have dodged VHS tapes and the dreaded dial-up internet, but you bet your last bag of Dunkaroos that we were the true cream of the crop—the Gen-X masters of awkwardness and indiscriminate junk food consumption. Cheers to that, my fellow children of the 80s and 90s!