Ah, the golden age of the late '80s and early '90s, when our biggest technological dilemma was whether to record our favorite song off the radio on a cassette tape or to just settle for listening to a Walkman that could be mistaken for a small weightlifting apparatus. Back then, life came at you like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, minus the glamorous graphics of “The Great Hall of the Dragon” or “Escape from the Evil Wizard’s Fortress” — okay, maybe with some less-than-glamorous moments too, like those awkward days trying to make acid-wash jeans trendy (spoiler: we never succeeded).
To think we used to wait by the boombox for our favorite tracks to come on just so we could press "record" and pray we didn’t capture the DJ’s banter or worse – a phone call from Mom! How relatable, right? Now we swipe left for everything, including making friends and getting excited about new music (hey, did you hear that beat? Yeah, in 1994). Who even needs a Walkman when you can blast tunes from your phone while accidentally entering the hideous world of TikTok filters? What’s next, someone’s going to start a trend where we recreate dance moves from MTV’s “Total Request Live” on our couches instead of going outside? Oh wait, they’re already doing that.
Remember the thrill of driving around in a car with your best buddy, blasting a cassette, and hoping the police wouldn’t pull you over for your questionable taste in 2 Live Crew? Fast forward twenty-some years — now, we’re in mini-vans debating which suburban driveway has the best shade for a TikTok video about our epic DIY home projects. Spoiler alert: The only thing epic here is the number of times I’ve forgotten to unmute myself on a Zoom call while trying to figure out how to turn my living room into “The Alter of Vintage Video Games.” To think we were worried about getting caught sneaking into age-restricted movies, but now we just worry about parental controls on streaming services. What a time to be alive.
So here’s to us, Gen-X: the last generation to actually know what it was like to live life without our phones glued to our hands. We've survived the trials of floppy disks, dial-up internet, and debates about whether Minnie Driver was a movie star or just a really desperate person who wanted to be famous. Spoiler: just like our high school relationships, she just kind of faded out. But hey, at least we can claim bragging rights on knowing all the lyrics to “Livin’ on a Prayer” while we try to pay off a mortgage. Who knew adulthood would hit us harder than the reality of VHS tapes becoming obsolete?