Ah, the joys of parenting in the 21st century—what a delightful goldmine of nostalgia it is! As I sip my overly sweetened iced coffee, scrolling through memories on my Instagram feed, I can’t help but chuckle at the massive, glittery, parenting smorgasbord we’ve been served. Back in my day, “quality time” meant letting your kid dump an entire can of tangy Cheetos dust over the living room carpet, while you half-heartedly tried to catch episodes of “Saved by the Bell.” Heck, we would go to the mall, drop off the kids at the arcade, and treat ourselves to a couple of hours of blissful solitude, clutching our Swatch watches like they were some sort of golden ticket to adulthood.
Now, though? The stakes have been raised higher than the price of a Beanie Baby at a collector’s auction. You’d think we were raising the next generation of Rhodes Scholars given the Pinterest boards chock-full of organic kale crafts and “mindfulness” activities. Back in our day, no one cared if you encouraged your child to craft an epic scalene triangle out of leftover Lucky Charms. In fact, if your kid could differentiate between a “Teddy Ruxpin” and a “G.I. Joe,” you were practically a Super Parent. Fast forward to now: you’ve got parents handing out artisanal snack platters arranged to resemble a Monet painting. I still can’t tell if that’s a snack or a modern art exhibit, but don’t worry—the macaroni is gluten-free.
And what’s with kids these days and their smartphone skills? I’m not saying Instagram wasn’t a thing back then, but the only app we had was “Make Your Own Mix Tape.” If my kid wanted to communicate with someone, they had to actually dial a rotary phone and pray the numbers would magically take them to their friend’s house. My parenting genius came from replying to the “Can I have a sleepover?” question with a resounding “That depends—do you know how to work the VCR?” Now, at least my kids have come to appreciate the wonders of VHS, as we fight over who gets to watch “The Breakfast Club” (Spoiler: it always ends in my victory).
So here we are, surviving the '90s flashbacks in a world of TikTok and gluten-free everything. We’re still listening to our vinyl records while shaking our heads at the audacity of those impossible parenting trends—remember when your rewards system meant a bag of Skittles? Can I get a “rad” for simpler times, where “I love you” was said with a hug and not captured in a selfie? Here’s to those glorious days filled with slap bracelets, slushies, and our unwilling parenting alliances. Hang in there, fellow parents, we’re navigating this colorful tapestry called the 21st century one awkward mom-stumble at a time!