Ah, the 80s and 90s: a time when our biggest worry was whether we had enough quarters for the arcade, and our biggest dilemma was choosing between "Breakfast Club" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" for the umpteenth time on movie night. If you’re a proud member of Generation X, you know exactly what I mean. Back then, we didn’t have to deal with endless homework assignments on a glowing rectangle. No, we conquered our school projects with the battle-tested formula of microwave popcorn, a VCR, and a bag of nacho cheese Doritos. Honestly, who needs research when you can just pop in a tape of "MacGyver" and call it a day?
The irony is that we had to put some real thought into our homework. When a teacher asked for a presentation, we had to pull out the arts and crafts supplies—hello, construction paper and markers—and actually create something with our own two hands. Our PowerPoints were made of 3D cereal box models with a little glitter for flair. For us, "streaming" meant the sound of a river running through the backyard where we played with our Groovies while wishing to be as cool as the characters on "Saved by the Bell." Nowadays, kids fire up their laptops and crank out an entire thesis while breathing in popcorn fumes through their nostrils. It’s a tragedy worthy of the “Where Are They Now?” specials.
And let’s not talk about how we communicated with one another. If you wanted to reach your friend, you had to either get on the house phone and risk your parents picking up or, heaven forbid, leave them a message on their answering machine. If you had a particularly sappy mixtape, you could charm that special someone with nothing more than a compilation of your feelings and some well-placed F-bombs from Nirvana. Today’s youth, bless their hearts, swipe left and right like it’s an Olympic sport—what a sad way to experience the thrill of love’s first cringe.
Yet here we are, juggling our adult lives while reminiscing about a time when the biggest technological fear was whether your cassette tape would jam, not whether your Wi-Fi will drop during a Zoom meeting. So here’s to us, Generation X: masters of irony, dodging adulting like it’s a dodgeball game at the local recreational center, armed with only our wit and an ever-growing sense of scholarly skepticism about every new Netflix show. Whatever they’re watching at the moment, I’m sure it won’t stand the test of time like the classic "Muppet Babies." Cheers!