Ah, the glorious days of yore, when the biggest existential crisis we faced was whether to choose a cassette tape or a CD—and let’s be honest, cassette tapes were just cooler. Sure, we had a few things weighing us down—like a world that was just beginning to realize it didn’t need to be tethered to a wall to function (thanks, cell phones)—but we still managed to find joy in the little things. Like watching Bill Clinton play sax on TV while wondering why the *real* problem with the country was that we couldn't keep our Tamagotchis alive longer than a week.
Remember when opening your lunchbox was like winning the lottery? Was it a peanut butter and jelly or—gasp—crunchy peanut butter? And on those rare occasions when your mom slipped in a Little Debbie, it was like finding a secret stash of Cabbage Patch Kids at a garage sale. Now, my lunchbox is a generic black compartmentalized container, and the only thing I want to win is the lottery, so I can hire someone to cook for me.
Let’s not even talk about our fashion statements—thankfully, the pictures from those kicky 80s hairstyles have mostly faded, just like our dreams of being rock stars. We went from neon leg warmers to oversized flannel shirts faster than you can say “Scrunchie.” And yet, here we are, grappling with the harsh reality that ‘adulting’ is less about being a safe haven for wayward kids and more about knowing which way to turn a wrench without Googling “how to fix a toilet." Spoiler alert: the answer is *still* a mystery.
So, my fellow lost souls of Gen-X, as we navigate this brave new world filled with influencers and hashtags—where the closest thing we get to a “MTV moment” is trying to figure out if TikTok is another name for a pepper spray—let's raise our glasses of Tab and toast to a simpler time. Sure, things may feel a bit heavier now, but at least our hair was bigger then. And really, isn’t that what life is all about?