Remember when the biggest worry we had was whether our cassette tapes would get eaten by that annoying little plastic monster inside the Walkman? Ah, the golden days of the 80s and 90s – a time when “streaming” was something you did at the creek down the street and not an excuse to ignore your family for six hours while binge-watching some show you’ll forget about in two weeks. Back then, all you needed to hang out with your friends was a Walkman, a pack of Hubba Bubba, and the courage to ask your crush to a school dance. Now? It seems you need a degree in digital marketing just to plan a pizza night.
Let’s take a moment to remember the time we actually had to earn our entertainment. Want to hear your favorite song? Congratulations! You had a one-in-six chance of getting it on a mixtape from your crush after staring at the tape deck like a moron, praying they didn’t accidentally hit “eject” just as “I Want It That Way” came on. Today, you can just say the name of a song into your phone, and voilà! But can you really feel the same rush of nostalgia while you’re scrolling through Spotify playlists on your fancy smartphone? Doubtful. The closest thing to real-life consequences back then was getting caught in a lie about where you were going. Today, if you leave your house, you’re one step away from becoming a viral meme on TikTok.
And let’s talk fashion, shall we? We had the audacity to step out in acid-wash jeans, oversized flannels, and enough scrunchies to stage a coup d'état. In contrast, today’s youth embrace “vintage” styles that, let’s be honest, aren’t that far off from what we wore, albeit with a much higher price tag and a sprinkle of ironic detachment. Meanwhile, we watched the evolution of music with our portable CD players and booked it to the mall to buy the latest Britney album, not knowing we were living in the last era where buying physical media was a rite of passage. But hey, it was worth it to spend hours meticulously organizing your collection to impress your friends. *That’s* the real flex, not whatever TikTok dance pet project you’re working on right now.
As I sit here, musing over how we are now global residents of “The Internet,” and sipping my third cup of coffee (because adulting), I can’t help but chuckle. If I had a nickel for every time someone complained about having to unplug from their life to enjoy it, I’d have enough to buy a whole case of Crystal Pepsi. So, while you Instagram your brunch with the persnickety little avocado, know that I’ll be here in my side ponytail with my vintage Nintendo, sipping Seattle’s Best and pretending that the 80s and 90s weren’t the last time we really lived. Here’s to the days when our biggest dilemma was whether to record *The A-Team* or *Knight Rider* – they were *truly* the days, my friends.